Most women dealing with difficulty conceiving have this one thought whirling around their head: WHY ME? infertility just seems so random. One woman gets pregnant without even trying and another struggles for years. And, of course, when you are the one struggling, it seems like absolutely everyone around you is pregnant.
Most of my fertility patients are healthy, fit women who are doing seemingly everything right. No one is chain smoking or doing drugs or eating fast food every day, so what's the problem?? I think most of us have that feeling, when things don't go our way immediately, that we've done something wrong somehow, even when we haven't. It is so painful. And everyone is looking for that simple answer as to why they aren't conceiving so they can just fix it already and get pregnant.
This situation is hardest on Type A women who are used to working hard and achieving whatever they put their minds to. It doesn't make sense that you can do everything right, track your cycle and have intercourse when you know you are ovulating and still end up staring at that negative pregnancy test. Well, you know what? It doesn't make sense--at least from an intellectual perspective. This situation with fertility or really any chronic malady calls for going deeper. You may want to punch me in the face for saying this--and I wouldn't blame you--but maybe, just maybe, this difficulty in your life is happening for a reason.
"If at first you don't succeed, you're in luck. Effortless excellence is a lousy teacher and a fickle friend." Adam Grant
Let's all be honest. How much have we learned about life and about ourselves during the good times in our lives? It's typically the tough times that show us what we are made of and that make us more empathetic people and better friends. If you are going through a hard time who do you turn to? The friend who seems to float through life unimpeded or the friend who has seen her own ups and downs and actually has some good, well earned advice to give. I know, facing infertility is scary. It hits on every level: physical, emotional and spiritual--BUT if you allow it to, this experience will change you. This experience has the power to slow you down, to change your priorities and to cause you to deeply value that successful pregnancy when it happens more than you ever would have if it came easily. And the great thing is that all of these lessons you are learning are going to make you such a better mother to these children that will eventually come. So love yourself through this and KEEP GOING and most importantly trust in your life's journey. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now and you are learning the lessons needed to enable you to become who you are meant to be. KEEP THE FAITH!